this quiz can guess your name created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Your name is either kelton, sam, peyton, bill or laura Yea Your name is either kelton, sam, peyton, bill or laura 75% Your name is either Geoge, abraham, william, hillary, roger, tyler, or bill 67% Your name is either Phil, Greg, bob, alyson, rebecca, nicole, heather or chelsea 50% Your name is either Nathan, laura, kaleb, taylor, brittney, tiffany, or flemmer 46%

Should you be MALE or FEMALE?* created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Either You brain is neither specifically male, nor female in the way you perceive your surroundings. As bad as this may sound to some, it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able think freely. This does not mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, but it might. Either 68% Female 68% Male 57% Neither 7%

i dont know what to do.
everyday i get upset and cry coz i dont know what im gunna do.
i cant do this not on my own and eventualy i have to.i cant stay here everyone thinks going home to ur parents after having a baby is bad, and people made so much effort to get me moved into town. sometimes i want to be at my place but i cant be alone, i wont cope, i cant do this. i keep thinking why did i do this.and then i feel bad coz i love joshua so much i want the best for him but i cant give that.sometimes i feel confident and i can handle him but other times i feel like everythings too much.i want to just stay here but i cant xpect simon to keep helping like this forever,although he said he would, he might change his mind coz its been along time since he raised a baby, and ive never done it before. i know what to do but i cant handle the stress of it all.,

and the hormones that are changeing and changing in my body are not helping, but i know thats not all the problem, i have so many fears and phobias about things, i didnt want to leave today coz i didnt want to leave him not coz i dont trust simon but coz i never had been away from him before since he was concieved. i didnt want to take him wih me coz i wanst ready for that either.

I ended up leaving him and feeling bad about it and i feel that im horrible mom coz i didnt mind enough being away frm him, but i hated being in public the way i am at the moment i feel all disconnected from my body it feels like it not mine and its alien and it doesnt matter anymore coz hes not in there,. i dont rely care abou me anymore coz im not carrying him, i cant just eat whatever i want anymore so i dont know what to do. and im not used to this new shape i have, the change after giving birth is emotionally like the equivilant to waking up suddenly showingly pregnant when u hadnt been the day before, its like suddenly being totally diffefernt and everyone just expects u to deal with it.

i dont know why im not just happy having a baby, i love him and im happy with him hes gorgeous but i cant do this by myself and i dnt know what to do i have to figure it out soon

i cant move out of where i am coz its supposed to be realy hard to get into.its special mother and baby place and theyve beem really good to me there. i cant just take advantage of them like that. and i cant live here coz everyone wil think thats bad, i know corry is aganst going to the grandparents for help, most people are.


i just feel i need to be with family and they are all here., they all come here all the time and out in ballarat we are stranded away from family. and most of the reasons i needed to be in there are gone now. needing to be near the antenatal clinic, needing to hand in centrelink forms every fortnight i don know what else but i feel like here is where i need to be., but then today i felt the opposite but that was just after corry said something about soeone else who went back to the parents and now i dont know wwhat to do...im lost...i just want to crawl in a hole away froim it all. i feel so bad coz i love joshua so much.

it doesnt help that the father keeps pestering me about being a family and stuff i know he wouldnt make the effort he says he wil and he wouldnt be any help wih the baby hed just make it more stressful than it alredy is.

i just dont know what to do the whole world is just too much to face

ive felt like this before, many times before, but this is difrerent coz now it affects somone else.i gues i can pretend its all ok but i dont want josh to suffer coz of stupid old me.

please help

hey everyone. well i was right, i did have the baby about a week after my birthday.
I had a beautiful baby boy. His name is Joshua David Villiers Maynard.
He was born on Tuesday 24th july at 9.47pm at Ballarat Base Hospital. I went to hospital the day before because i went into very early labour during a shopping trip to get a present for simons birthday. The kind of labour i was in at that time has a name that i can never remember but basically means the engine was revving up but not really doing anything at that time, but the pains were bad enough that i couldnt just stay at home, and i had had my show that morning, so i stayed in hospital to have them keep an eye on me to make sure the cervix was still closed. In the end i thought it was never going to open as i had had many weeks of strong painless contractions that were going nowhere, and then suddenly they became painful but they still were not causing the cervix to dilate.

To help with the pain in those early stages, they tried me on Panadene Forte which did basically nothing for the pain, but the valium they gave made me able to sleep inbetween contractions (ten minutes apart by this stage) and i would wake up every time one came.
then by lunch time on tuesday the pains were getting really intense so they decided to get me to have a nice long bath in this huge bath they have. for a little while that made a small amount of difference with the pains, but after awhile the pains had become so intense that the bath was not helping at all, and i was starting to make noise with each one, so i got help out of the bath and back to my room and started to have late lunch (as lunch had been served when i was in the bath) but i never finished thatlunch as the contractions became stronger and closer together (about 2-3 mins apart) and i tried to make them bearable by kneeling on pillows leaning over the bed but after awhile that wasnt helping at all and the 'noises'i was makeing were gradually getting louder. i pressed the buzer for a nurse but they didnt come for what seemed like 20 mins (i dont know if it was or not. probably not.) and they said they were going to get a doctor but they never came back, so i somehow walked to the desk and a nurse told me to go back to my room and she followed me and then said she was going to get a doctor and she never came back either(as i said before, they might not have been gone for long, but it felt like forever, it felt like everyone was ignoreing me and forgetting about me!) i pressed the buzzer again(but i dont know if it works once its already been presed) and eventually a nurse came, and i had had the rest of my 'show' and she checked and found i was 5cm dilated. (this had happened while i was being left alone and it seemed that everyone had forgotten me)

when i was told that i was dilating, my first thought was'oh GREAT! now i can have something stronger than panadene forte!' as they had told me a couple of hours earler that i couldnt have anything else as i wasnt in full labour so they would just knock me out too much. So she went and got the Gas and told me how to use it. It was great at the start as it made the pain vanish for awhile and made me feel stoned or something, everythhing was echoing and looked all fuzzy and funny looking, i was practically singing at one stage (thank goodness there was nobody around)lol. Then after awhile the nurse came back and i asked her to ring simon, and after she rang simon she went to get the labor room ready for me, and after what seemed like ages (but not so bad as i had the gas to distract me) she came back. by this stage i was starting to ask for more pain relief as when a pain was stronger i had to breathe quicker to get enough gas to take the edge off, and it seemed i couldnt breathe fast enough. but then it got a bit better. They transfered me to the labor room and onto a different gas tank and it was good for awhile coz it was stronger than the first one, so it was like starting all over again,
i remember the bed being really comfortable and i remember mentioning that to the midwives,(i was basically saying everything that popped into my head because of the gas i didnt think before saying anything so i dont know what sorts of silly things i said)

after awhile simon arrived with irene, and i remember saying 'yay' when he came into the room. I also remember offering the gas to him to try, and he said no, and then a pain came and i quickly changed my mind about sharing anyway!lol

i started asking for corry soon afterwards, and she told simon to tell me to cross my legs and that she was on her way. after i cant remember how long it was, she arrived, and i dont remember in much detail after that, just bits and peices, i got pethadine injection at some stage, i barely remember it.

I dont remember many things after that, except that i started getting strong urges to push but i wasnt allowed to and that was annoying, As they got stronger, i couldnt help it, i would just push anyway, with everyone telling me off, and telling me to breathe instead of pushing, which seemed impossible, and i was pushing and holding my breath and getting told off by various people, mostly i remember it being Corry telling me off.

At some stage i went to the toilet as i was drinking alot of water.I think i remember it being very hard to walk there, and once i was there i reallyfelt the urge to push so strong it never seemed to stop.

then i was finally allowed to push and that didnt make things any easier because then they were telling me i had to push harder and i felt i couldnt, and i musnt have been able to coz after me asking them if they could get him out any quicker, they decided to use vacuum/sucktion but after two tries it didnt work, the suction cup kept coming off his head. so they decided on forceps.i Think they gave me some needles,then they cut me so he would be able to come out without me tearing, and i just remember having to push hard then take breath and push again and do this 3 times per contraction which were pretty much continuous by this stage, and they used the forceps to help him out the last bit ofthe way and then after one final painful push (where i felt i screamed the hospital down but apparently wasnt that bad) he was finally born..

he was put on my chest and photos were taken,and simon cut the cord and he was taken away to be measured and weighed. he weighed 9Ib 12 and a half 0z.he was 51cm long and his head cercumference was 36 and a half cm around. his apgar score was 8/10 at birth and then 5 mins later was 9/10.the placenta was delivered but i barely remeber that happening or when it happened.then i needed stiches so they gave me the gas back (as soon as i started pushing they had taken it off me :( )

thats basically it..i dont remember anything else. Istayed in hospital til saturday morning (the 4th day) then went home for 2 days and now i am staying at snake valley for awhile which is easier on simon. (and me coz the bed is comfyer than mine..) simon helps alot. He does the 12-1am(ish) feed and the 3-4am(ish) feed for me while i get my sleep,(im bottle feeding him soy formula as i cant breastfeed. the milk came in alright but it built up so quick that it all blocked up and wouldnt come out, so i still leak but cant express)Then i get up for the 6am ish feed and thats when i start my day (simon goes to bed after the 3-4am one and then sleeps til he feels like getting up which is basicaly his sleep pattern for as long as i can rememeber anyway so it doesnt put too much stress on him and takes somestress off me so after having sleep at night i am then able to cope with josh's needs during the day (with some helpfrom simon when needed) im getting the hang of being a mom, i thought i never would, but its getting better and easier every day.

its now a week after the birth and he has put on weight back to his birth weight again (they lose 10% of birth weight in first 2 daysthen put it back on) and i have lost about 12kg sincewhat i weighed 2 days before he was born.I am almost recovered from the birth now ican sitfairly comfortably now and stand up etc. theres more infobut its probly TMI.

better leav it there, hope ihaventput anyone off haveing a baby, belive me (i didnt belive this wen i was told it but its true) i dont actually rememberthe pain, iremembrit being there but notwhat it felt lik.whole labor only took 5hours

i cant stand thiskeybord anymore. cya

Bek

Hi, i moved to my own place in ballarat and its great. at first it was lonely, but now its great. i have alot of contact with the salvation army down the st from me. they have made sure i have everything i need for me and baby. and they make sure i get to my appointments and stuff.

baby has been growing steadily. I officially have 3 weeks till my due date. but the baby is measuring at full term and my fundal height(hight of uterus) is 41cm and 40cm is full term. I have had two false labours and i stil have contractions throughout every day but they are irregular, they get regular for a couple of hours a day and then iregular again, usually in the afternoon and night.

babys head is engaged in the pelvis now, baby is sitting in perfect position for being born.

now i cant walk far as i get sharp pains down really low (u know where i mean..)and i feel really heavy at the bottom of my belly and in pelvis. baby moves around in pelvis and it feels weird.

anyway..i have my birthday this sunday. have party saturday.
i will be 18.
i better go. i dont update much coz i dont have internet access at home.

Bye
Bek

MY STUPID F*ING COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IT WAS BLEEPING AT ME SAYING BATTERY LOW SO I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY AND I FINALLY FIGURED OUT IT WAS BECAUSE THE POWER BOARD HAD BEEN SWITCHED OFF, BUT THE F*ING COMPUTER IS NOT EVEN TURNED ON IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BLEEP BATTERY LOW WHEN IT IS SWITCHED OFF! WHICH MEANS WHEN I UNPLUG IT TO MOVE ITS GOING TO END UP BLEEPING AT ME COZ ITS NOT PLUGGED IN. LAPTOPS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU BATTERY LOW(THEY ARENT SUPPOSED TO DRAIN THE BATTERY) WHEN ITS NOT EVEN TURNED ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STUPID BLOOODY COMPUTER I WAS ABOUT READY TO CHUCK IT ACRROS THE ROOM WHEN I COULDNT EVEN GET THE POWER CORD I COULDNT FIND IT AND THEN FOUND OUT I DID ALL THAT FOR NOTHING COZ IT WAS ALL JUST ONE LITTLE SWICH ON THE POWER BORD THAT HAD TURNED ITSELF OFF. STUPID POWER BOARD. COMPUTERS ARE SO STUPID ESPECIALLY THAT STUPID BLOODY F*ING LAPTOP HAS CAUSED ME CONSTANT PROBLENS EVER SINCE I GOT IT, AND THE GUY WHO SOLD IT TO SIMON CHARGED TO MUCH FOR IT AND SAID IT WAS A NEW MODEL EVEN THO WE FOUND OUT IT WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT A 3 YEAR OLD MODEL WHEN WE GOT IT NOT A NEW ONE. IT WAS nOT A RECENT MODEL AT ALL AND IS JUST CRAP COMPUTER BARELY WORTH ANYTHING.its done the basic job to get me thru till now but ill be so glad to get a proper dektop one, but i am not getting it till i go to my perminent house, i dont want to have it and not be able to use it. i cant dial to the internet at this place so i dont want a computer there just to remind me what im missing out on.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm i feel all numb..my mind has gone blank i must have worked myself up to much getting angry now i feel like nothingnesssssssssss..cant be botherd with this anymore
bye
B

hi.
moving tomorow.
dont have anything to say.
nobody comments here anyway.
:(
B

hey, i just got paypal! i havent activated the bank account properly yet as i have to wait for the test funds to go thru which wil happen probably next week.
I sold my mobile. it sold for about $120 its a motorola v3 razr. i will now get a cheaper fone that will suit me beter. This one i was about ready to chuck at the wall if it did one more thing i wasnt happy with. Its a tempermental fone thats all but it has a personality of its own and it clashed with mine..

anyways i sold that and a couple of books and a couple of dvds and now im done with selling for awhile (since i have nothing left i want to sell anyway!) I got profit of about a total of 150 for everything i sold, so what i dont need to replace the fone will go into the cristmas fund towards getting gifts for family this christmas. i will be putting bits asside into the fund when i can so i wont be totally stuck when chrstmas comes.

anyway...its full moon i think...lol that always makes me a little crazy. Im cancer starsign and my planet is the moon so it makes us all a bit strange when its a full moon. lol...

to more serious matters. we got the kittens out of the vet today, they had been desexed but my little one stopped breathing for a short time while under anasthetic, so she now has a few more problems than she had before, one of them being that she is currently pretty much blind. which i cant work out why. she walks around walking straight into things shes like a total different cat. it must be scarey for her not being able to see. she walked straight accross (meaning steped her paws in) the water bowl and didnt seem to notice that her paws suddenly became wet, she just kept walking..

she should be ok tho apart from the sight she seems to be ok. and the sigt might be a temporary thing i dont know..
if she doesnt get her sight back it might be an even better thing if i take her to my house wen i get the office of houseing house(where i should be allowed pets, as i am not in the house im moving to on monday) because she really shouldnt live with a dog, especially not a really big and playful rough one like jasper, becasse if she cant see that would be to much to handle.besides no offence to simon but a place i have would be easier for a blind cat than this place coz things here keep changing and with blind people or animals things must stay predictable and neat and tidy.

anyway......cant wait to move to my place..moving monday afternoon..having goodbye party tpye thing on sunday.

gotta go
B

hi.
stupid LJ keeps telling me i have my password wrong, but then i type the SAME thing in for about the fifth time and it works! so tell me how could i have had it wrong all the other times when its the SAME thing??? it does this every day to me..
and today i didnt even log in i just reloaded the page www.livejournal.com and i was logged in..

I packed up some of my room last night. into my various size boxes that i have in there (not cardbord ones, proper ones) some stuff doesnt have a box that fits it so i had to have stuff poking over the top, like my dvds wouldnt fit they are too wide to sit and have the spines NOT coming out the top of the box. and so i just used the box like it was a shelf. i have most things packed except my computer (which STILL does not work even worse than before. I tried it last night it just freezes up as soon as i get online.)
i also havent packed my clothes(actually maybe they should just travel in the baskets they are in, they are folded inside washing baskets, i can just take the dirty stuff in a bag seperete. I also havent packed the things that are breakable, like my lava lamp i have the box in the cupbord somewhere i will have to get it out and put back in the box. then its basically just a case of neatening up the other stuff that im storing here till i get the perminent place, teres no point taking stuff to this place that im not even going to use in the time i am there. then i have to move it twice instead of just onece.

People are going to think i am pretty crazy how much i look after my stuff during the move but i think its coz with everything that ive lost in the last year of my stuff, now everything i have is extra important to me, so i will be relly careful with it.

i cant wait to see whats there in the kitchen at the new place, coz everythings there, i just dont know what stuff coz i cant rememeber what the lady said and i probably dont know the proper names for the stuff anyway so i wouldnt be able to picture what she was talking about. i cant wait to see whats there to be able to cook with. theres also cleaning products there already i dont have to worry about getting any, although if they dont have the surface spray i really like i might stilll get it, its a green apple scented one and it doesnt make my asthma flare up like most others do. i mean i still have to leave the room for 20 mins and then come back and wipe it off but its not as bad as the other ones that are around.some of them i have to hold my breath as i walk out of the room coz if i get ANy in me my asthma doesnt like it, its really annoying when i want to clean and my body is restricting me, its worse than missing out on a lot of sports when i was growing up because of it, no matter what i did i couldnt control it to the point where i could do these sports, but most times id do them anyway and just suffer the consequences..lol

anyways..enuff of that..

the other thing i cant wait to do is set up the nursery for the baby., i have alot of stuff to put in there i just didnt have the spare room before, and i didnt have the cot but there is one already there since this is special housing for moms and babys

i have alot of clothes and toys and a change table and stuff like that i can put in the nursery and i will buy the rest of the stuff as soon as i can..like cot sheets and everytghing. i have this special bed thing that i can put baby in straight away from birth coz it holds babys head and body in the right position so i can put baby in the cot straight away i dont need a smaller cradle or anything, so thats good.
i dont know exactly whats happening today i know i have to send a parcel
i better go
B

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.


trait snapshot:

craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose

hi....
woke up in hot sweat this morning.
dont know why.
its happened before.
cant wait to have this baby.

Im kinda scared, about being alone in the new house.
im moving sometime after monday. then what if somthing happens and we havent made a plan yet...I dont even have the number for the right part of the hospital to ring to ask them when to come in when its hapening.. i dont want to ring 000 thats silly im only having a baby not dying.
I need to get that number but they i dont think have given it to me which is silly coz i might need it for emergency anytime, im not saying i think baby will be born soon but nows the time any complications that are going to happen,will.

theres a phone box down the street from the place. the phone in the place can only ring 000. I have my mobile...
I just wanted peopel areound me when it hapens..i hope if it starts people from here can be there soon as possible coz i will need people teling me its ok. otherwise i will panic and say i cant do this, i know i will, its what i do..

besides simon was going to use tens unit on me he cant do that in my house from here. i dont know what the plans are but silly as it seems we should make some...NOW

to other matters...

i cant wait to be in my own place. i will be bored. i think there will be awile where i dont even have a tv or anything.. if simon was here rite now he would say 'just read instead' YUK i dont like reading. only somtimes if im in the right mood which im not very offen.
at least on my own people wont mind me being up all hours of the night, i wont desterb anyone.and i can go out whenever i want (as long as i have money for the bus) but theres places i can walk to that are good to. like the suppermarket is walking distance away.
I will find out about the community house to coz thats just up the road next to the salvos office, and they usually have activitys and programs you can do. and they usually allow you to pay in small amounts at a time..

cant wait to see the baby finally... cant wait to put babys little clothes on and yes im even looking forward to changing the nappy (for now) i cant wait to just be able to put the baby down and sit the ways i used to sit (like with my legs pulled up against my chest and belly. and i cant wait to lay on my belly to sleep again, and be able to roll over at night witout waking up. and being able to not feel like a huge blimp i feel so huge not just my belly, everything..im not used to being this fat. it scares me, normally before now i would have gone on a diet but i cant even do that coz of the baby GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....

and most of all....cant wait to be able to have all the things i cant have now, asprin, alcohol, energy drinks...(dont like panadol it doesnt even relly work, i used to take disprin direct., and i love the other two things i listed here)

i kno taking care of a baby is hard, but i can manage it, theres lots of people out there that cant but i can. i know i will be a good mum
gotta go cant be botherd riting anymore..

b

hi. The tests i posted yesterday were fun to do. but i know they are just silly ment for fun. does anyone have anything to say about them? i like the squiggle one.sounds just like me LOL. cant remember what others i did but would love comments to any. :)

to other news...
today before dropping the cats off for desexing (:(poor little things) i have to drop by the office of salvation army to talk about the fact that they are giving me the keys to the new place on monday. I am going there for further xplanation and also so she can help me ring gas and electric company to tel them i want the untilities connected in time for monday. then i find out how much rent ill have to pay, and probably fill in the centerpay form. then 2pm monday they get me to sign the lease and give $20 deposit so they can hand me the key.

thats all my news for now
b